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[4 grow wings [¤]Fly. ]

Neon nights with eyes split open. [23 Aug 2005|05:58pm]
[ mood | That's a lame lemon ]

I was confused and bedazzled in a festival called Lost Vagueness when my friend turned to me with his jaw chewing air and says 'You're friends hold you back' then turning away looking at a couple dressed as royalty.

When night grows from the shadows I slip into a huge dream canvas with a thousand happenings spiraling and crashing into one another. I fell in love with a japanese girl playing black jack in a tokyo casino, white sheet mornings smiling into the sun gleaming between window panes. Then vision slipped and spilled into my father with his legs broken, crying and telling me he loves me. And I had to comfort him. Tables turn and roles reverse. All the intricacies of man, all the little time wasting devices postpone sadness until it's time to die.

Sometimes you just gotta laugh.

Fly. ]

Long time no update. [08 Aug 2005|10:50am]
[ mood | quixotic ]

Well a whole worlds been created and destroyed in the time since my last appearance here. But it's better to describe nothing well then describe everything badly.

At the moment I'm liking a lot of hateful music. It's quite interesting. I'm also listening to some pyschadellic trance which I find extremely intriguing. I've been breaking into the mindsets of strangers and smiling at their machinery. A lot of people strive to be normal, I despise these people. Some of them are my friends, which puts me in quite a position. My best friend is digging himself into such a stereotype not all the conversational trowels in the world could unearth him. I find it rests a lot on how you're brought up, to agree with many scientists and whatnot. The growth environment puts certain peremeters in your brain, such as mysodginistic thinking, homophobia and racism. As well as the edges of reason and reality. It takes time and a lot of thinking to deconstruct those barriers and do what some refer to as 'finding yourself'. I've been eluding myself for as long as I can remember. But the walls are almost down and then I'll have a million miles to explore, all in the dark and with just a matchbox. And on another note, I don't think I'm ever going to love, I outsmarted it.


[1 grow wings [¤]Fly. ]

Welcome to... [28 Feb 2005|07:34pm]
The End

[1 grow wings [¤]Fly. ]

The Day Spent [21 Jan 2005|11:59am]
Last night I stayed in street, after college and went to the park. We started drinking and didn't stop for a few hours while talking over-enthusiastically about books we've read and films we've seen. Then we all walked Chez to the bus stop on our way back to College. She broke up with Mat by then but I didn't realise at the time, it was quite obvious from a long and drawn out build-up that left him with problems aplenty but her as free as the wind blows. At the college there is a cinema in the theatre as all the teachers insist on telling us over and over, advising us to culturalise by staring at a colour screen. Well we sauntered into the theatre and climbed to the balcony seats, the place was packed apart from three rows where we were, so we sprawled out happily. I sobered up during the film, (it was Hero, beautiful but I was too drunk at the time to realise this) we shared a couple of beers but Tom and Alex couldn't handle it so they went outside to carry on drinking.


[3 grow wings [¤]Fly. ]

Stay close. [07 Jan 2005|07:57am]
[ mood | sad ]

My cat got killed yesterday.

I felt really good until somone knocked on the door. I hear them say 'I've got an awful confession to make. My dog's attacked your cat.' and then my mum yelps and turns away from it as I come to the door. It was bad. Really bad. Last night I couldn't stop thinking of my mum's yell and the way she covered her eyes.


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